my space

Moleskine_ruled_notebook,_inside_view

The first stroke is the best stroke
it always leaves her wanting more-
there are moments of pain, but pleasure at the core.

Waiting in anticipation for emotions that will be placed
ever so gingerly, but thoughtfully in her space.
One thousand journeys have been traveled
transcending both time and place.

Limitless pains and boundless joys-
here is where they will all unfold
A myriad of adventures, most of them untold.

How possible is it to share the depths of the human heart?
How possible is it to navigate waters – clearly uncharted territory–
weaving together broken strands that will tell the human story?

Only one place can be deemed as safe
in this pitiful notebook that leaves no judgment to be faced.

Frustration

Deeply hidden in the back of my book

is where they’re all hidden where no one can look.

I get so FRUSTRATED

I haven’t a clue what to write-

fractured pieces of the thoughts lurk in my head every single night.

I am so afraid to pick up my pen-

or turn that crisp page,

because the moment I start I’ll be interminably engaged.

Once I begin, desperately I try to finish each piece,

vowing to somehow find my release.

Dreams, Wishes, and Destiny

There are dreams to be dreamt, wishes to be made an destinies to be fulfilled. But how to go about making them happen, that’s the big mystery.
Trying to discover or go after your destiny when you’ve already made, what seems like a wrong turn to take you off course,is like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube. Of course you know that it is quite possible to solve, but it’s going to take some doing. Some insight, some understanding of what lies ahead of you. Knowing exactly what piece to turn or spin to get you to your desired placement – challenging, but enjoyable as you experience success with each piece that clicks into its proper place.
It may not be easy, and you may even become frustrated during the process because you may have to move backwards a few times in order to go forward-but in your mind it’s okay because eventually you will solve the puzzle and achieve ultimate satisfaction. Just be patient with yourself and continue to forge ahead.

In the Waiting Line

Sometimes I feel like I’m in this long line, similar to that of a checkout line in the grocery store,but instead of waiting to make a purchase, each “customer” is waiting in line to receive his own special life assignment. And the whole time I am waiting, I am patient and I am cool because I know that when it’s my turn it’s going to be something great, something that I can execute. Something that I will enjoy. Something that I will be glad to have waited for. But then, suddenly as soon as it’s my turn to approach the cashier, it’s closing time.
I’m just waiting for the day that I make to the “cashier” before closing time. I feel like I am in close proximity to my destiny, but I need those directions from the “cashier” to finally make it there instead of just groping about in the dark.

I wonder if this makes sense to anyone else, if anyone can relate…

Of that I can’t be sure, but what I can be sure of is that one day it’s bound to be my turn. I will not have waited in vain.

We are God’s Masterpiece…

Masterpiece Image

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do good things he planned for us long ago.”

Ephesians 2:10

According to Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, a masterpiece is a work done with extraordinary skill; especially: a supreme intellectual or artistic achievement

Extraordinary, defined by the same source is defined as going beyond what is usual, regular or customary—exceptional to a very marked extent.

With that clarified understanding of what those words mean, it is safe to say that an extremely skilled person, or prodigy would be necessary in the completion of a masterpiece of any variety.

When reflecting on the magnitude of the word masterpiece, a very well known artist popped into my mind. Honestly, it is not fair to limit this man to the title of just artist. He was also a painter, sculptor, architect and poet with a considerable amount of renown. This man was the most famous artist of the Italian Renaissance; this man was Michelangelo.

Michelangelo, was a the most gifted and sought after artist in Europe at that time, so much so that Pope Julius II commissioned him to come repair and beautify the Sistine Chapel that was beginning to diminish. However, Michelangelo was very reluctant, as painting was not his medium of choice and he feared that this daunting task would not produce his greatest work.

Reluctantly, Michelangelo got started on his task of renewing and beautifying, the already standing Sistine Chapel. The method of choice that Michelangelo chose to paint the masterpiece with is the art of fresco, which is much more challenging than simply painting an image on a surface. The technique of painting a fresco requires one to paint on a plaster surface that is not completely dry so that the pigment can penetrate the surface, this is accomplished by adding a thin layer of fine plaster to the wall in question. This method is advantageous to fresco painters because it allows for mistakes to be corrected and for colors to be more stable.

When Michelangelo began to work on the 4-year-long endeavor, he hadn’t imagined some of the problems that he would run into, one of which that could create major drawbacks in his progress with the completion of the chapel. While working the very detailed fresco method, Michelangelo hit a roadblock, that looked like it may have stopped success altogether. He was working on one of the largest multi-figure compositions of the entire ceiling when the plaster itself became infected by a kind of lime mold, which is like a bloom of fungus. So he had to chip the whole thing back to nothing and start over again.

Despite the fact that Michelangelo had some structural difficulties while he was working on the Sistine Chapel, and it took him quite some time to complete, he endured and kept working because he believed that in the end the finished product would be beautiful.

The Michelangelo illustration is a good analogy of the way the Lord works in Christian lives. When seeking the Lord, we bring our broken spirits that are shattered and are in need of repair and beautification. The Lord is the one true sculptor that can take lackluster materials and repurpose them into something beautiful and worthy of being used for his kingdom.

Many of us are like that old chapel, in need of renewal and beautification, and we don’t know where to turn to get what it is that we need that will fulfill us and make us new. Often time people turn to the family, friends, self-help books, or seek escape from their lives in drugs or alcohol or some other unhealthy distraction. These methods are all temporary fixes to major troubles. What we may fail to realize is that in the same way that the beautification and restoration of the chapel required a skilled hand to make it a masterpiece, we too require the skilled hand of the Master to make us His masterpiece.

Sometimes our circumstances can leave us feeling old and dilapidated, and a flat out mess incapable of being repaired, let alone a masterpiece designed by our Creator. But, God’s word tells us over and over again, that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person (2 Corinthians 5:17). So it is up to us to trust and believe that God has transformed and created us anew and that he will be constantly renewing our thinking, attitudes, and behaviors to reflect His work (Ephesians 4:23-24).

The truth is that while we are going through the renewing and beautification process, it may not always feel good, and it may feel like it’s taking too long. But we have to remember that a masterpiece is not created overnight and that sometimes beauty is pain. In Hebrews 12: 7-12, we learn that we must endure hardship and discipline, because God disciplines those he loves and that it’s ultimately for our good and so that we can share in his holiness. It takes the skilled hand of the Master to know and execute the exact changes that need to take place in us to make us beautiful vessels that are fit for his use (2 Timothy 2:21). Discipline may not always feel good, but it builds in us better character and makes us more Christ-like, and honestly, what can be considered more deserving of the title “masterpiece” than that?

Unconditionally

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

I don’t even know where to begin

I find myself every several months thinking of new ways to let you in.

Into my heart  you’ve been invited numerous times,

but sometimes I forget you’re my guest and I show you my bad side.

Why is it so often I fall,

then beg for your mercy and yearn for your call?

I’m a lover of the worst kind,

you show me your love and I pretend that I’m blind.

Blind to the fact that for me you gave your life,

and from me , in return, you are only asking a very small price.

“I’m sorry Lord!” I constantly say

then pray that you’ll let me make it another day.

How many times can you hear that and not become tired?

It would be completely my fault if your grace and mercy expired.

But that right there is the beauty you see–

you are so you and nothing like me

And I’m eternally grateful for the love you give unconditionally.

Share

An empty receptacle that longs to be filled
With hopes, with dreams, with fears? With longings of what’s to come
But what I feel is the immediate, the passion of the moment the promise of now but nothing tangible
For the future
Empty wishes, hopes and dreams kept alive until the next time
When will my hopeful heart say no and refuse, realize that enough is enough?
Know that there is nothing promising just around the bend? Accept reality for what it is? Know my role and find comfort there within?

Fade to Black

I’m sipping and tripping cause I need a vacation from my mind
I try to block the clock but I know it’s keeping the time
Want it to black out, I need it to fade
But at the rate my mind is going
It could be days
Before I rest, before I sleep , before I calm
Because this here on my mind presents too many qualms
I need it to go black, I want it to fade
All I need in my life is a little shade
From the attacks, from the snares of the enemy… But it seems like he’s taken a special interest in me

Intimacy

intimacy: a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group

                    “Here I am”

To be soul to soul-close enough for the softest of whispers 

even if you’re on the other side of the world

To be a stone’s throw away and still feel your touch

To look into your eyes and know your thoughts

and for you to mirror my actions and read my thoughts too

To know that my heart beats to the rhythm of you

The pulse of our bodies keeping our spirits in tune

This is what I dream, desire…deserve

I know that you’re here–because I am too

Not visible to me, but patiently I’ll wait for you

 

 

 

I cried for you today…

Image

I cried for you today

This is emotional, it’s hard for me to write–

salty pools keep blurring my sight.

I know what we have is special

you told me yourself

but even if you hadn’t, in my heart is where the feeling is felt.

Inside I’m in pain, being pulled to shreds

I can understand the reason, but I know it should be me instead.

Maybe in another time and place, we’ll both be free enough to get lost in love’s embrace.

Until then, I’ll keep you tucked away in my heart

waiting for the day when our lives can start–

as a unit, a couple, a team

you’re the only one with whom I want to share my dreams.

You’re my friend, my ace , my boy

dealing with these feelings without you has my world destroyed.

I’ll pull myself together and I know that time will mend,

because I know deep inside this is not our story’s end…

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries