Unconditionally

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

I don’t even know where to begin

I find myself every several months thinking of new ways to let you in.

Into my heart  you’ve been invited numerous times,

but sometimes I forget you’re my guest and I show you my bad side.

Why is it so often I fall,

then beg for your mercy and yearn for your call?

I’m a lover of the worst kind,

you show me your love and I pretend that I’m blind.

Blind to the fact that for me you gave your life,

and from me , in return, you are only asking a very small price.

“I’m sorry Lord!” I constantly say

then pray that you’ll let me make it another day.

How many times can you hear that and not become tired?

It would be completely my fault if your grace and mercy expired.

But that right there is the beauty you see–

you are so you and nothing like me

And I’m eternally grateful for the love you give unconditionally.

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An empty receptacle that longs to be filled
With hopes, with dreams, with fears? With longings of what’s to come
But what I feel is the immediate, the passion of the moment the promise of now but nothing tangible
For the future
Empty wishes, hopes and dreams kept alive until the next time
When will my hopeful heart say no and refuse, realize that enough is enough?
Know that there is nothing promising just around the bend? Accept reality for what it is? Know my role and find comfort there within?

I cried for you today…

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I cried for you today

This is emotional, it’s hard for me to write–

salty pools keep blurring my sight.

I know what we have is special

you told me yourself

but even if you hadn’t, in my heart is where the feeling is felt.

Inside I’m in pain, being pulled to shreds

I can understand the reason, but I know it should be me instead.

Maybe in another time and place, we’ll both be free enough to get lost in love’s embrace.

Until then, I’ll keep you tucked away in my heart

waiting for the day when our lives can start–

as a unit, a couple, a team

you’re the only one with whom I want to share my dreams.

You’re my friend, my ace , my boy

dealing with these feelings without you has my world destroyed.

I’ll pull myself together and I know that time will mend,

because I know deep inside this is not our story’s end…

Annnd go…..

Class Dismissed

I allowed you to mislead me and misguide me

Use me and abuse me

Deplete me of all of my good intentions

and left me with virtually no remnants of myself.

All of this was done under the guise of friendship;

You preyed on my innocence

manipulated your intentions with me in order to extract  some of the sweetest nectar from my very core.

It wasn’t until too late that I realized that I, in fact, was the only one of us being true.

And even in that realization

I made an attempt to save a friendship that never truly existed at all.

What a fool I was,

But a fool no longer I shall be.

Because you taught me lessons that I wouldn’t have learned ay other way.

To open my eyes to the truly wicked ways of this world?

Teaching me discernment and patience, and the power of an observant eye?

Maybe…

These are things one can only learn from experience…right?

And you-you’re the master teacher.